one anomynous guy’s las will

Dis my draf fo today, Satahday 05.25.19

one anomynous guy’s las will
eh, numbah one
please tell my lungs
so dey know
even dough
I quit smoking long time ago
I still suspicious
if dey wen screw me in da end
frickin buggahs making like traitahs
an obvious kine
but no need notify my haht
dat no need pump no more blood
cuz dat buggah goin be
guarans ballbearins
da firs of anyting or anybody
fo know I wen
make die dead
an goin take one automatic blow
afta so much yeahs running
like one ultra-ultramaraton dude —
shoots, uh, shoulda signed
one shoe company contract
when I wuz born, so maybe
we died rich —
I know, not funny
but das how my joke writing goes
try let my brain know
no need tink all heavy toughts no more
which goin be one big relief, I tell you
seeing all da deep kine stuffs
I always ruminating about —
nah, jes kidding, my brain
not even goin know da difrence
cuz I nevah tink about nutting evah anyway
so me dead
not goin make no difrence in my head
eh, wondah, I gotta let my unused air
know fo go get sucked by somebody else, o’wot —
my firs deep tought, brain
but no get use to it
oh, an if you tinking maybe
I died hiking Tantalus or Kalalau or whatevahs
jes to let you know an reassure you guys
no worry, shrimp curry
I always carry my phone
so should be dat my body
can get GPSed real easy kine —
note to me
maybe try write one
find-my-body app
an if someone wen write um already
ho, my luck always suck
an las but not da leastest
please let my public know
dey no need search for me
no more
cuz I kine a no need um now
an try ask um
where da hell you guys was when I needed you

Codas — Cadis — WTF
P.S. If you got all da way to heah
mahalos fo reading
I goin remembah you
fo sure

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