the state of

Here’s my draft for today Tuesday 04.23.19.

the state of

texas
I lingered over you
the shape of you
that morning

on the map you looked like a t-bone steak
red and raw, to be grilled rare
to be cut into, blood running everywhere

you aren’t on my bucket list

you remind me of how dreams die
how history can take a turn for the worst
twists of fate and sickening circumstance

I know, of course, where we find ourselves now
isn’t your fault, not at all
and I have friends who live in you
I’ll never visit

until the day I die, I’ll not be able
to shake that brain branded image
of the moment we began our death march
a mad motorcade veering
out of control
running into what we’ve become

hatred, violence, chaos
withdrawal, our shrinking world

I closed the book on you that morning
had nightmares about Dallas
when I was younger
only see you as a horrible memory now
the state of our nation
no longer
an atlas