A Hallmark Moment

My friend calls to tell me a co-worker,
rushed to Queen’s Hospital the night before,
had undergone an emergency quadruple-bypass.

The others in the office divvyed up duties,
and she’d been assigned to buy a card for him.
Problem was, she couldn’t find an appropriate one.

On a website now where you design your own,
she needed help finding words that worked.

I asked what she wanted to say.

“Something,” she replied, “along the lines of:
We can’t believe you survived the operation,
given the shape you’re in,
we would have guessed there was no way
you’d have made it through.”

I hesitated.
“So you’re looking for a humorous way of saying
you’re happy he survived given his health situation?”

“Humorous?” she said. “Humorous how?”

“Never mind,” I said, tapping away on my keyboard.
“How’s this?” I read aloud:

We heard it was close, still you made it through.
Thank goodness for great doctors and the amazing news.

“Perfect,” she said.
“I didn’t want to sound too harsh or judgmental.
The way you’ve worded it is kind of positive and upbeat.”

Glad I could use my English degree to help her out,
I hung up wondering what kind of card she might have given me
had I suffered the same health emergency.

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