Psst

You know that’s a word, right?
It’s one of those onomatopoeia types.
Those that come from a sound.
Like when you’re trying to get someone’s attention
say Psst on the softer side so’s not to alert the whole room.
In the dictionary it’s spelled psst. Two “s”s.
Strangely, spellcheck doesn’t like psst.
If you choose to write it with more “s”s
it’s another word, don’t you think?
Pssst: a small air leak.
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst a big air leak.
Psst is a good word for sparking creativity.
By substitution I’ll create more winners

(I wonder if Shakespeare said that once?)

Asst: Darn! It’s already okay with a period.
Bsst: the way Harry might say “best” to Sally. Okay, now it’s happening.
Csst: the sound made by one of those pussy things leaking. I’m on a roll now.
Dsst: when someone’s been talking stink about you, so you been dsst.
Esst: the way the French soldiers shout “east” in The Holy Grail.
Fsst: the original spelling of “fist” before it was decided to make spelling it harder.
Gsst: What you are when you stay at an underwater resort.
Hsst: What you are when you throw a party at an underwater resort.
Isst: Shorthand for the 50 that are already part of the US.
Jsst: How you would say “just” when your jaws are wired shut.
Ksst: The sound of a dentist’s drill expelling water into the air.
Lsst: Similar to psst, as in “listen here.” Also otherwise.
Msst: The little daughter of Mr. and Mrs. T.
Nsst: The sound you make when you’re thirsty for ice tea.
Osst: the way they sat “host” in parts of the UK.
Qsst: What they’re on in The Holy Grail.
Rsst: The sound of a little rust escaping from your tire.
Ssst: See Csst.
Tsst: Yes it is.
Usst: But not anymore.
Vsst: A shorter stay.
Wsst: The opposite of the way the French soldiers shout “east” in The Holy Grail.
Xsst: Rea al abou i.
Ysst: Not, want not to Liza Dolittle, or used in baking.
Zsst: The sound of a mosquito zapper.

I’ve done it now, contributed a host of new words to the English language.
Were Letterman still on, I’d send him the list, have him read it on air,
so they’d flow next day into all his viewers conversations.
Today Letterman devotees, tomorrow the dictionary.
Someday later, spellcheck, or maybe not.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s