My dad had a store of useful phrases for any occasion.
Most memorable for me was, “I need X like I need a hole in the head.”
I always wondered, still do, if he meant another hole in the head,
since we all have holes in our heads that we do need.
Of course whatever it was he was referring to,
he meant that it was stupid and useless.
This might be something I’d suggest we buy,
such as junk food or a new toy.
Of course, he was saying not he, but I myself needed said item
like I myself needed a hole in the head – or another hole in the head.
Meaning, of course, that I would get the candy or toy
“when hell freezes over” – another one of his oft utilized lines.
He also favored, “Keep your eyeball peeled” and “Don’t give me any of your lip.”
Another one he tossed out from time to time was,
“I’m going to whip your little kungdeng,” demonstrating his Korean language capability
and meaning, “I’m going to whip your little ass.”
I didn’t like to hear that one because my dad also had a Korean temper.
If he needed to say he was going to whip my little ass,
that meant he was thisclose to actually doing it.
Better to cease and desist whatever had elicited this comment;
to persist meant an ass-whipping was indeed imminent,
and I needed my kungdeng whipped like I needed a hole in the head.
Lanning Lee 