Habit

Not this time. No. I’m done with all of that.

I watched. Closely. I always do when I sit in this area sipping my Starbucks, waiting for it to happen.

And BAM! The woman fell down – rolled down — that second-floor walkway ramp, right when she stepped on the red and white Santa hat that’s been lying there since Christmas, waiting for someone to slip on it. This is what phone readers get for staring at their phones and not paying attention. Talk about doom scrolling.

That combination of felt and rained-on mossy mildew. I just knew it. It’s the proverbial accident waiting to happen.

Every time I went by there I saw it happening sooner or later. It’s my forte. Anticipating things like that.

And now look at this. She could have broken her neck. On the older side. Could be big bucks.

Funny. A bunch of good Samaritans ran over to help her. Like as if she were special. Like this was Area 54 or something, and she was an alien who’d fallen to earth.

Only one person sees it the right way. The dollar sign way.

There’s nothing otherworldly about it. She’s from right here. A typical Ala Moana Shopping Center customer. She woke up this morning not knowing there was a gooey Santa hat trap in her future. If I knew that, I’d stay home.

Neither of us is psychic, I’m assuming. I mean me knowing that someone was going to slip on that slimy hat, that wasn’t clairvoyance. That was common sense and learned instinct. Why they never picked it up, I have no idea. They’ve had a month to do it. And now, cha-ching!

It’s amazing how some rubbish hangs around forever. Like it’s invisible. But it isn’t. If I see it, I’m sure I’m not alone. If it’s not too gross, sometimes, on an off day, I’ll pick it up. Then I’m the good Samaritan. Something like that Santa hat, though, that’s beyond the pale. I love situations like that.

Truthfully, I hate folks who just throw their trash around. It’s that attitude. Someone else can clean up my mess. Someone gets paid to do that, so I’ll just litter like I’m some sort of sandman sprinkling sleeping dust over a planet that’s going down fast.

Yup, yup, they’ve got her up on her feet. Now she looks elderly. A while back, I’d be drooling at the prospect. I bet at least one of them is a personal injury lawyer who’s been eyeballing that Santa hat for a while. Yup, there she is. She’s giving the woman her card. See you in court, meal ticket.

But I’ll sit back. I’m tired of being an ambulance chaser. There has to be a better way to make a living. I mean, I’ve been watching that accident in the making for a month now. I have to wonder, is that what the average person would consider normal?

Nope, not this time. And I pray not ever anymore. I just wanted to see the accident happen. It’s a bad habit hangover I’m waiting to clear. I truly do not want to do this anymore.