Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Dear Ear-rth
Happy Birthday to you
If the Earth could speak
I’d ask it how it feels to be 6,000 years old
But that would be a horrible question
I’m 69
And there’s no way on Earth
I can remember what it was like
Even to be 50
So imagine asking someone
More than 4.5 billion years old
What it was like to be 6,000
That’s a cruel joke to play on a senior citizen
By the way
God likes to hear that one
You know
About the Earth being 6,000 years old
Every time someone tells it
He shoots coffee out his nose
Which as Martha Stewart might say
Is a good thing
Because as a good Lutheran
I know we are to fear and love God
With the Martin Luther emphasis on fear
Love being in the second slot
Which means that if we keep Him laughing
He’s less likely to get mad at us
And flatten the Earth
Lanning Lee 