You remember that Carly Simon song, “There’s Always Someone Haunting Someone”? I suppose she could be talking about actual ghosts, but it’s more likely she’s means living people who’ve found their way into your skeleton closest of old loves, parents or others alienated for some reason, rivals in a competition of some kind, and the list goes on.
We sit around and laugh about that sometimes. You shouldn’t throw the word “haunting” around like that. It’s not about poetry, Carly.
No. When we use the word haunting, we’re talking about honest to goodness dead people’s spirits spooking the bejesus out of the living. It’s nasty business. A good ghost haunting, if it’s done right, can hurt or even kill someone.
Let see Carly Simon sing a song about that.
We’ve heard of benign ghosts, just flitting here and there, mostly for show. And the friendly ones, the Casper types who exist to help out the living.
Well, we’ve never seen any of those. And some of us have been around for a long time, so we’ve pretty much seen it all. Those types, that’s Hollywood and lousy literature.
Real ghosts, the ones we know, are horrible. Spiteful. Vindictive. Trust me. I know.
But as I say, I’m getting tired of the same old same old. So this is my plan. Starting right here, right now, as I’m typing this, I’m going to turn over a new leaf. From now on I’m going to do my best not to intimidate or hurt the living. What I’m going to do is this.
I’m going to become a rock musician. I think it would be a pretty cool job, partying all the time like it’s 1999. After all, I can’t get hurt or die. And I’m older than Mick Jagger or any of them. I’ve been around since before they were born, and I’ll be about long after they’re gone – unless they join our ranks and hang out indefinitely. Keith Richards maybe. He looks like he’s got one foot in our world already.
So please excuse me. I’m going to start learning my scales.
Lanning Lee 