Is not God’s gift to man
In order to avoid Sunday worship
He did not say
Let there be a vast and costly array
Of clubs, shoes, gloves, tees, ball markers,
And aerodynamically dimple-patterned balls
For you to fritter away your should-be church offerings
Fore-saking me before all 19th holes
In not singing your aves with the fam
The Lord did not create the first golf course
Taking time off from monitoring
Everything in the universe
To tarry a while in Scotland
As supervisor of construction at St. Andrew’s
Letting slip the worldwide onslaught
Of tempting pseudo-paradises
Where masochists who shirk shrift
Suffer through in their sinfully soul-wracking
Search for 18 blindingly tiny holes
Punched in the unholy ground by servants of Sadism
Demonically tweaking the most twisted
Unfair fairway and sickening greens layouts impossible
For the majority of mere mortals missing congregation
To suffer through with any degree of redemption
Except for the illusion
That consumption of vast amounts of alcohol
Can atone somehow for a skipped sip of communion vino
Hell, you will hardly see any golfer pray
Prior to teeing up for another tortuous round
No
It’s football He gave to us
As you may witness
When sometimes entire teams
Will pray before they unleash the pigskin prize
Participating in God’s acceptable alternative
To Sunday morning worship
He sometimes supporting both teams
You can see in simultaneously prayer to Him
For victory on the holy gridiron
Verily
If you must bag service on Sunday mornings
Shun golf
And get thee to a TV or live venue
To pray along for your team’s success
You and
Of course
The Lord watching over them
* * *
Note: This is my rough draft for today, Wednesday 01.10.24.
Lanning Lee 